Very...weird meeting of Animorphs and Harry Potter
by The Nori of the Universe
Summary: This is kinda, well, um, a bit weird. Kinda funny, I guess (actually hilarious, in my opinion). Um, read?


Credits: J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter and company, and K.A. Applegate owns the Animorphs. Hmmm... Let me see, what do I own? I don't even own the words! The English language, whoever made that up, made it! Oh, well. 

Authors Note: My first Animorphs/ Harry Potter Crossover! ::beams:: anyway, hope you enjoy, but REVIEW. 

Me: Let's see now, um, I think I told Harry and them to arrive in five minutes, but, when did I invite the Animo- 

Rachel: Who are you? 

Marco: Um, excuse me? Is this the place we were supposed to go? 

Tobias: (flutters in the scene) Hey, what's she doing here? Where are the Yeerks?> 

Jake (frowning): Excuse me, is this the place where we were told to go? Ax? 

Ax: Yes, Prince Jake, this is precicely where Erek said he would be. However, I do not know the human before us.> 

Me: Whoa, guys! Hold it! 

Cassie: I'm sorry, are you the Chee we were supposed to meet? 

Marco: Well, she doesn't look like a hologram. 

Rachel (shakes head): No, Marco. Not even a robot would ever go for you in your natural state. 

Marco: That doesn't include my unnatural state? 

Jake (rolls eyes): Okay, okay, guys, come on, we've got to figure out who this is. 

Me: Look- 

Tobias: What's that over there? I can see disturbances in the air, there's something about to come...> 

Ax: Yeerks?> 

Me: Excuse me, but- 

Cassie: What are they doing? Those kids, they're walking around looking lost! 

Rachel: Is it the Visser? 

Jake: No, I can see them too, they're just kids- 

Me: WILL YOU ALL PLEASE STOP TALKING AND LISTEN TO ME?????? 

Jake, Marco, Cassie, Rachel, Tobias and Ax: What? 

Me: _Thank_ you. As I was going to say, ahem, I'm a writer and I just called this meeting because I wanted to get to kn- 

Crookshanks: MREOWR!!!!! 

Marco (runs under cover): AAHHH! It's the killer cat from hell! Told you this was a bad idea! 

Hermione: Crookshanks! Come here this instant. (Pulls out wand and mutters something that makes Crookshanks spit and hiss.) 

Harry and Ron: Hello, we're here, but we can't stay too long, we've got Transfiguration in fifteen minutes. 

Me (sighing wearily): Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. 

They all turn and look at me: Huh? 

Me (closing one eye): Yeah, I told you, I'm the writer and I called you guys, all of you, to interview you for a bit. 

Cassie: Writer? About what? 

Rachel: Interview? Yeah, right. This is all a trick. 

Marco: Yeah, run for cover. 

Ron: Harry, do you think it's maybe Voldemort in disguise? 

Harry (grinning evilly): No, but I am.(reaches up to his face and performs an MI2 thing; takes face off.) 

Draco: Ta-DA! It's me. 

Harry (emerges from behind the fallen tree log): Did I miss anything? 

Ax ( staring in amazement the limp face of Harry): Is this edible?> 

Jake: No, Ax, leave this alone. You, could you please explain? 

Me (staring at all the characters): Um, yeah. 

Harry, Ron and Hermione (turn to stare at me): Who are you, again? 

Me (getting annoyed and full of despair): SHUT UP! Will you please listen? (pauses, then hurries on since nobody is speaking)   
Look, I'm a writer, and since I got permission for this moment from the Ellimist and Dumbledore to do this, I decided to have the characters of both my favorite series together and see how they react. 

Animorphs: WHAT? 

Harry Potter and Comp.: WHAT? 

Me: Yeah. 

Cassie: Is this Harry Potter? Like, from the Harry Potter books? 

(I nod) 

Rachel: Hey, and you're that wuss who's in Slytherin! 

Draco: Hey! And you are?( Rachel and Draco have a staring contest which Rachel wins.) 

Hermione: I read them to my little cousins once, somewhere, they're the Animorphs. 

Ron (confused): Animagi? 

Tobias: Harry Potter? Isn't that the book that J.K. Rowling wrote? 

Harry: Hey, I'm not a _character_ in a BOOK!! No way! 

(This sinks in to everyone's brains except for Draco's, who is still staring at Rachel) 

Rachel: Excuse me? I'm not a character either. _They_ can be, but _I'm_ not. 

Me: Please, come on, just shut up for a bit, okay? We only have like ten minutes! 

Marco: You're telling us to shut up? Well, at least it's not Rachel, she makes me feel all like... 

Rachel: Shut up Marco. 

Marco (sighs): Never mind 

Cassie: Look here, I'm Cassie, this is Jake, Marco, Tobias, Ax and Rachel. We're the Animorphs. 

Tobias: And we're not book characters. 

Harry: I'm Harry Potter, this is Ron Weasley, and this is Hermione Granger. 

Ax: Is the cat a person or a cat? It seems to me it is acting very strangely. 

Hermione: Of course it's a cat, you stupid- er, um... (looks at Ax's tail) 

Crookshanks: No, I'm a person. 

Harry, Hermione and Ron (Draco is grinning smugly): WHAT?! 

Voldemort (throwing off the Crookshanks costume and exposes himself to them all.) 

Me (cracks up): Hey, you're Voldemort, aren't you? 

Voldemort (looks thunderous): Lord Voldemort. Fear me! 

Ron (sinking down behind the log): Um, Harry? Hermione? Is it just me, or was this a bad idea? 

Me: Haha, Voldie, you don't have your wand. 

Voldemort (suddenly looking flustered): What? 

Rachel (looks questioningly at Jake): I say we ditch these weirdos. 

Draco: Don't leave, it's personal between you and me. 

Rachel (faking sweetness): Yeah, sure, sweetie pie, come on. (She runs up to him, punches him flat on the face and goes back to the Animorphs) 

Hermione: I wanted to do that! 

Marco: Go, Warrior Princess! 

Voldemort: I am the master of evil! This was supposed to be about me! 

Visser Three: Hooo-haahaha! 

Me: Oh, great. You know, I think I'd better end this right here. 

Ax: May I ask whom you are?> 

Me: I told you! 

Jake: Um, sure you did. When? 

Draco: No you didn't! 

Ron (emerging, slightly gray): Yeah, you didn't. 

Visser Three: I've got the Andalite bandits right in my hands! 

(a figure in black robes emerges from the trees) 

Harry: Professor Lupin! Hi! What are you doing here? 

Professor Lupin: Harry! How nice to see you all! 

Marco: I don't want to sound like Rachel, but didn't we just hear Visser Three? 

ALL: NO! 

Marco: Okay, okay, sorry I asked. 

Me: Look, I guess we should wrap up, even though it's not that much of a wrap. 

Cassie: Was that supposed to be funny? 

Ax (at the mention of "funny"): Ha, ha, and also, ha!> 

Marco: Hey! You stole my punchline, you annoying Andalite! 

Jake: Okay, let's go. sorry, but I've got homework, and tomorrow we've got this big mission... in, ah, um, well, bye. (looks embarrassed and leaves.) 

Ax (leaving right behind Jake):Farewell, writer.> 

Tobias: Was there supposed to be a point to all this?> (flies away) 

Harry (looks at his watch): we've got to get to Transfiguration! Bye, Nori. 

Me (amazed): Hey! How'd you know my name? 

Harry: Guessed. Have fun. 

Marco: Not to mention that it's spray-painted on the tree behind you. Bye, later. 

Rahcel: This was a very stupid idea. I'm going to punch the lights out of that Chee. 

Me: Actually, that was me. 

Cassie (following Rachel, speaking over her shoulder): What was you? And, see you around! I loved your stories on Fanfiction.net! 

Me (totally confused): You read fanfiction? (turns to the remaining people; Voldemort, Draco, Lupin, and Ron) don't go yet! 

Lupin (looking in confusion at his wand): Where are we, and who are you? 

Ron: A weird fanfiction writer who tells us we're all fictional characters from someone's imagination. Bye! (walks away in a huff.) 

Lupin (hurries after Ron): One moment, Ron! You've got to tell me where Dumbledore is! 

Draco: Lord Voldemort, for bringing you here, don't I deserve something? 

Voldemort (looking from me to Draco): YES! You deserve to leave me alone. 

Draco: Okay, okay! Bye.. Owch! Stupid bloody tree root... 

Voldemort (turning to me): Wasn't exactly how you would expect it to be, was it? 

Me (dully): You're right. 

(Voldemort reaches up and takes his face off.) 

Dumbledore: Actualy, I thank you. There are not many fanfiction writers who let me impersonate my own worst enemy. 

Me (blushing slightly): Um, thanks. Well, I think I'll go now, I've got all I need. (holds up tape recorder) Bye, Dumbeldore, thank you so much! (rushes off, beaming suddenly) 

Dumbledore (chuckles and reaches to take fake face off again.): Haha, no more than I do. 

Visser Three (starts to demorph): Now, I now what no other does now! I know the Andalite bandits! Those nincompoop Animorphs! 

Crookshanks (appearing out of thin air and disapearing again after): MEOWRL HISS!!!!! 

Visser Three (trying to think, not even noticing Crookshanks or the faint voice saying, "Neville! Careful with your wand, those tiny green elephants coming out of it means something is being Apparated and it's not you! wait- aaahhhh!") Ah, alas! Revenge is not mine! I cannot remember the names! The names! Names, names, names, names!> (hurrying away) Halt! Wasn't one of the humans Harry?> 

(Dumbledore, the real one, appears.) 

Dumbledore (Pulls out wand and points it to Visser Three's retreating back): "Obliviate!" 

Another author's note: and they all live happily ever after... NOT! just kidding. please review! isn't it funny?(um, haha?) and I wrote it out of the top of my head during Chem and Social Studies, so, well, just review.   
  
  



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